can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
