Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
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