after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
The adults are the big ones right?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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