babies were throwing up all over the place
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
