All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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