this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
