She's JV to your varsity
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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