I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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