so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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