theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
