The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
