That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i came on her dog
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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