I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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