Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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