South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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