I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I wish i was in the wii world.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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