somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
