I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
