The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
