Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize