that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
