i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
