The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
