all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
