why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
