Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
