So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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