You're my little dorito
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
