Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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