Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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