I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
