There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You may now shotgun with the bride
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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