I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
