u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
