And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Do vagina's smell?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
