there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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