Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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