Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize