just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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