I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
