So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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