why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
