Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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