I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
