I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
