Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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