my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
