normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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