It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
