I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
