The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I love black thongs
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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