Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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