I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
