Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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