no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
