i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
