is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize