I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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