not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I supernannyed him into submission
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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