well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
