the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
