Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
