I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
