...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
