I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
