Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
